The ‘Overgiving’ Trap: How Emotional Exhaustion, Entitlement, and Self-Sacrifice Keep Women Stuck

‘Overgiving’ is one of the most common, yet most overlooked behaviors that keep women trapped in unhealthy relationships and patterns of emotional imbalance. As I mentioned before, it is the first fracture and as a learned behavior is can be cemented in a young girl’s life and lead to an addiction to self-sacrifice. I, Tunisia Ali, see it as a form of self-harm because it is. It is a behavior that is part of a larger condition that I call Overgiver’s Syndrome. And what makes it so dangerous is how normalized it has become. No one seems to get that is by in large why so many women have health issues and other ailments that correspond to a heart chakra that is out of balance and depleted. Because of the way it is normalized, women lack the awareness of just how harmful this condition is or that it is even a condition at all. So many women don’t even realize they’re doing it — they just feel tired, unappreciated, emotionally depleted, and confused about why nothing ever feels reciprocated. They keep wondering why they continue to end up in toxic relationships. They are constantly bumping into and comingling with ‘takers’ and never able to find mutually giving hearts. Overgiving is serious and its it time that we see it for what it is, call it out, define it, heal it, and transform.

Overgiving isn’t the same as generosity. Generosity feels good. It’s clean. It accumulates no emotional debt. It’s given freely and without expectation. But overgiving is different. Overgiving is driven by guilt, obligation, and deeply rooted conditioning that tells us we should give — or else we’re bad, selfish, or unworthy. When we ‘overgive’, it’s usually because we feel like we must. And in that space, we’re judging ourselves and behaving in ways that are ultimately self-destructive.

Overgiving creates disequilibrium in relationships in a multitude of ways. It sets up dynamics where other people begin to rely on you more and more. You become the default caretaker, the one who always says yes, the one who carries the emotional load. And when you can’t fulfill every need — because you’re human — people begin to take you for granted, or even express irritation, frustration, or entitlement. Over time, you may begin to feel unseen, taken advantage of, or emotionally exhausted, especially if you’re not someone who knows how to assert yourself and prioritize replenishing your own energy.

Overgiving is an energetic transaction between two people. And what makes it different from authentic giving is that, on some level, the overgiver is expecting something in return. Maybe it’s appreciation. Maybe it’s validation. Maybe it’s peace, or approval, or praise. Often, the motivation is subconscious. Sometimes, we’re giving just to avoid feeling guilty, or to ease anxiety, or to keep the connection intact — even when it’s draining us.

This pattern plays out in predictable stages. First comes excessive giving. Then emotional depletion. Then resentment and frustration begin to build — because your needs are going unmet, and your efforts feel unseen. And then finally, the crash. The emotional shutdown. The burnout. You withdraw, feel bitter, maybe even ashamed. But instead of exiting the pattern, you often blame yourself… and begin the cycle again.

Tunisia Ali is proving that overgiving is never an isolated behavior. It comes with other comorbid (as she calls it) conditions, afflictions, and syndromes that strip a owman of her life force. Yes, overgiving can literally kill you over time, but it certainly causes you to die a spiritual death over and over again. Overgiving is often comorbid with other patterns that keep women stuck in emotional survival mode: people-pleasing, low self-worth, imposter syndrome, lack of boundaries, codependent behavior, and a deep fear of abandonment. And all of it comes together to reinforce the idea that your value is in what you can do for others — not in who you are.

Tunisia Ali believes that overgiving is a syndrome — a form of dis-ease that manifests in women's lives more easily than in men’s. We aren’t just conditioned by society to behave this way. We practice it — sometimes ambitiously — even when it sabotages the very things we say we want. We’re praised for it. Rewarded for it. And encouraged to keep doing it in the name of being a “good woman.”

But let me be clear: this is not love. This is not generosity. This is emotional self-erasure. And it doesn’t lead to intimacy, respect, or connection. It leads to burnout, resentment, and broken self-trust.

Healing from overgiving requires a fundamental shift in mindset. You have to begin recognizing why you do it in the first place. You have to learn to give from a place of strength, not fear or guilt. You must develop the self-worth and the confidence to know that your time, your energy, your peace, and your power are yours to protect — not to constantly sacrifice. And above all, you have to shift from people-pleasing to self-respect.

Because you were never meant to pour endlessly into others while drying yourself out. You were meant to be whole.

If this resonates with you, and you’re ready to start doing the deeper work, I created something just for you. The Overgiver Syndrome Journal is a powerful guided journal to help you uncover the root of your overgiving patterns, rebuild your boundaries, and return to yourself. It’s available now on Amazon — and it’s the perfect companion to this healing journey.

👉 Click here to get your copy of the Overgiver Syndrome Journal on Amazon

Purchase my Manifesting Your Masterpiece book to focus more on total healing. It’s a self-coaching and mindset reflection book that will get your healing journey back on track.

You don’t have to keep betraying yourself to be loved. You don’t have to stay stuck in emotional exhaustion.
There’s another way — and it starts with one truth at a time.